First dates! Will it be all butterflies and sparks or leave you falling flat. A lot rides on a first date. People can hide behind technology but this is the real deal.
A bit of planning can help you overcome those initial jitters to make the best first impression possible. Then who knows, maybe they are the one. Good news though, they accepted going hiking as a date. That is a very promising sign!
There are no strict rules for what to talk about on a date. There are classic options such as; where they are from, hobbies and career aspirations through to playing games and letting your imagination run wild. A hiking date has the added benefit of beautiful scenery to help inspire you and calm down any nerves.
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Why Hiking Is A Good First Date
Hiking is an excellent first date option. Firstly, if you are an avid hiker (like me!) it shows whether they are into the same hobby as yourself. Secondly, it actually gives you time to talk unlike a movie where you have to wait till the dinner to get into it and lastly nature is the best remedy for any first date nerves! Numerous studies have shown the benefits of spending time in nature for wellbeing, so even if they weren’t the one, you benefit anyway.
When you are hiking you can talk at any point, without any interruptions too. No waiting for the movie to end or waiter asking if you want dessert. Any date, is supposed to be about connecting to each other so I see this as an excellent way to spend your time. There are ample opportunities to settle into the date, and cover the date basics of what you are both looking for. See fun and efficient!
There will likely be many opportunities for the scenery assisting as you go. Come across some wildlife, flowers or a beautiful view and admire it with your date. If you’re knowledgeable on a topic, no harm in showing your interests (just avoid an hour long lecture no matter how passionate you are!)
Nature is also a very good place for peaceful silence. If the silence is comfortable, let it be. Enjoy the birdsong or wind through the trees. Not every silence needs to be filled.
But like with anything in life, it helps to be prepared, and below I cover some topics for conversation just to get you over the initial date anxiety. Before long, the conversation will flow naturally and fingers crossed your date will feel the same.
What To Talk About On A Hiking Date
There are no rules about what to talk about on the first hike. I am a bit advocate of let it flow. There are so many ways to assessing compatibility through general conversations that straight up interview questions.
Think about it, in an interview you say what you think the interviewer wants to hear. That’s not a relationship and a bunch of lies normally. A comfortable conversation is a two-way approach that can delve a bit deeper into the persons aspirations and values.
1. The Basics
Unless this is a blind date, then it is likely a lot of this is covered. This area can be a bit boring, and doesn’t make you stand out of the crowd but you do need to know the basics about a person. I would say the basics include but are not limited to:
- Friendly greeting
- Where do they live?
- Where are they from?
- What do they do as a career?
- How is their family?
- Do they have children?
- Are you after a casual or serious relationship?
Communication is everything in every friendship or relationship and you need to be on the same page as to what your goals of the date are. It’s perfectly OK to go into a date to get to know someone.
You may not speak again or you may end up married but if you’re going into the date for a casual fling then it is only fair to let your date know. That way there are no expectations of more where it cannot be. Hurting people because you are unclear about your intentions is not a fair way to meet people.
The career one is a good question to assess compatibility and deal breakers. Are they in a job that means they are away a lot? Are they “married” to their job? Or perhaps they hate it and can’t stop complaining. Not everyone is in a career they love but are they seeking out other passions, looking for a career change or generally just pessimistic.
The same is true for questions around family and friends. Are they a devote parent? Or do they talk rudely about their family? This is a good way to assess how they treat relationships with people. You do not need to have a good upbringing, but blaming your parents for half an hour for why they aren’t so great shows a lack of emotional maturity.
2. Experiences
You have yet to have many shared experiences but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask about theirs. Maybe they have a favourite hike, or have been on holiday somewhere you would love to visit.
Share your best trips and maybe laugh at some of the adventures you have had that didn’t go to plan but a laugh anyway. Again, showing a sense of humour and vulnerability is a good thing. It makes you more relatable and approachable.
3. Hobbies and Interests
Whatever you like to do in your spare time, share it! You may even find some common ground here. Everyone should be proud of their interests whether it’s new to you or you are a seasoned pro.
If this date goes well, they will hopefully be supportive of your hobbies, even if they do not want to get involved themselves. Anyone who actively discourages healthy interests is a big red flag. Perhaps even controlling and it’s good to get that out the way early on.
4. Favourite Movies And TV Shows
What’s your favourite series? What films have you watched recently? Maybe don’t let on that you spend all your time watching chic flicks eating ice cream because your so alone but common ground can be really good conversation starter here. Maybe it can lead into a second date if all goes well with an invitation to see the latest release.
5. Social Media
Social media comes up in more conversations than you realise. Many people just send each other memes, which you may have already been doing but who you follow says a lot about your interests. The algorithms are amazing at giving you content you don’t know you want. They probably know you better than you’re know yourself!
I don’t recommend getting your phone out in the middle of the hike (although many people have done that mid conversation to show me something from social media) but maybe your interested in a the same topics, then you can suggest new people to follow and go from there.
Social media can also play a huge part in peoples lives. Are they someone who always wants to posing for the gram? This will likely mean a lot of energy spent on getting the ‘perfect life’ photographs over living in the moment.
It can control people’s lives and not in a positive light. On the complete opposite spectrum there are people who are choose to spend no time on social media. In which case, if you need that person to follow and like every post then it will likely lead to frustration.
I am writing from experience here, I hardly ever use some social media platforms while my ex used to post a lot. I had no problem him sharing happy memories of us but I didn’t expect it to cause arguments because I didn’t like a photo I hadn’t seen!
6. Food
I love food. End of story! When anyone asks me this, it starts off hard and ends in me pretty much describing a feast. Most people will have something they really enjoy even if they aren’t quite as excitable as others (…me!).
Both love a good Chinese take out? Then that’s a perfect idea for a second date should Cupid agree. Or perhaps your hike goes so well, you can stop for a meal afterwards. Great way to add extra time if the sparks are flying!
7. Future Plans And Ambitions
Being single gives you a good opportunity to get to know yourself. There is no other half to compromise with and you can pursue any dreams you want. Worlds your oyster (and will continue to be with the right partner!). This could be career goals, such as promoting or going back to university to strive for new goals. Or it could be living in the countryside or uprooting entirely.
If you’re dating in hope of a serious (and happy and healthy) relationship then your life goals need to be compatible. There is no point dating someone in hope they will change their minds. It’s possible but unlikely and you will feel dissatisfied. You will either end up giving up on your dreams and goals (yes they can change but intent is everything) or leave your partner in heartbreak.
This question can also give you a good indication of whether they are motivated and proactive or just say things for the sake of it, waiting for it to fall in their lap. Or worse, for you do to it for them!
Say they want to change careers? Are they putting in job applications? Are they attending classes or educating themselves? Big changes can be hard to manifest but little steps can be the difference between someone who will be a partner and someone who will want you to be a ‘parent’.
8. Proudest Achievements
Another interview question but let’s face it, a date is an interview. Just hopefully a fun one! Share in the moment your date lights up when they talk about their proudest moment.
Maybe it’s career related, or they maybe they say their children. Whatever it ends up being, it can be a wonderful way to have a positive conservation sharing proud moments. It may even be something sweet and unique. It their proudest moment, not what is traditionally a proud moment.
9. Play Games
Any conversation based game while you’re walking is a good shout. Two truths, one lie is a fun way to learn random facts about each other. Things you may not even think to ask. It could lead to some interesting conversation topics.
Other games you could play is ‘would you rather’ or even good old ‘I spy’. Let out your inner child and enjoy an easy vibe. It may also be a nice change from the more personal questions especially as not everyone is comfortable with some topics.
10. Fun Hypothetical Situations
Not everyone has the opportunity to live their best life and this can offer a huge insight into someone’s priorities and hobbies. If money was no object (or any other restrictions) what would their ideal day be? What would their dream holiday be? Maybe stay clear of perfect wedding or children on the first date!
The hypotheticals don’t need to be realistic. For a fun spin try how would you survive a zombie apocalypse or stranded on a desert island. Have fun with this. Develop on any shared interests you have found.
11. What You Already Know
Unless its a blind date, there is a good chance you have access to some sort of bio, mutual friend or you would have been chatting in some way shape or form before you even reached date stage.
What have you spoken about before? There is no harm in reading old messages before you go on the date to refresh yourself on their interests. So long as you don’t come with a flip chart like your trying to pass a test then you’re all good. Also showing you pay attention to what they are saying will give you bonus points!
There are loads of possible conversation topics and having a few to fall back on, especially in the nervous first few minutes can make the whole date goes far more smoothly.
What to avoid talking about
There are always some topics that rarely go well and should be saved for a later date. Literally.
1. Exs
Unless you’re in high school, chances are everyone you meet will have a history of some description. First date is about getting to know your date, not explaining why you need to be on this date.
If the conversation does come round to exs, dont bring out the cuss word library. Complaining about how your ex ruined your life wont give you any bonus points.
Also don’t imply that there is anything more than platonic with them. If you chatting about how much you care about them through the date, your date may assume that you are not serious about them.
If you have children with your ex partner, that is a fair reason to bring them up but focus on your family values and respect the parent of your child. It shows a lot more maturity even if things went sour.
2. Complaining
There is always something to complain about but here try and bring out your inner zen. So unless it’s the classic complaining about the weather, don’t do it.
Not everyone will be happy in every situation, you don’t have to lie. You can say your boss drives you mad in a fun tone if you can, and then move on. If you can put a positive spin on it. For example, you may be counting the days till your boss retires but maybe you have some excellent colleagues.
3. Health Issues
A successful relationship will require your partner to support you with whatever health issues you have or will arise. The same is expected of yourself in return. It is a very important conversation to have, especially with long term conditions but best leave it for when things begin to get serious between the two of you.
Of course, if a condition you have may affect your date then make considerations to keep them safe such as informing them or avoiding certain activities.
4. Religion
You may already know each others religions, especially if you met through a place of worship. But if you don’t know it’s best to leave this for another time. Peoples beliefs should be honoured but it can cause some heated debate if you disagree with each other. There is nothing wrong with a healthy argument but the first date is not the right time for a debate!
It is important to discuss at some point because many relationships struggle with debates on how to raise the kids (should that be the desired outcome) even if they can respect each others belief systems.
Families may also not be overly supportive of your partner if they also disagree with your partners beliefs. This can put a real strain on the relationship so if it ends up being a deal breaker, it’s best to address this early on. But not the first date. Give them a chance. People don’t always conform to the ‘perfect partner’ checklist initially.
5. Politics
Like religious beliefs, political views can tear apart families let alone your date on day one. Some people have strong views and again heated debates are not the ideal setting for a romantic date.
If you have strong political opinions, save them for another time and remember to be open minded. Nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree!
6. Talking About Yourself ALL The Time
You are trying to sell yourself and assess the vibe all at the same time. It can be difficult to get the balance right. Of course, if your date asks about something then you can talk about yourself but remember to give your date chance to speak and ask questions in return.
7. Acting Like An Interview
There are some questions which you would like to know but reeling off the top 20 questions to ask on a date can feel incredibly intimidating. Not the relaxed atmosphere you want to create.
There is no harm in letting the conversation flow. Questions are there for inspiration should you need a bit of guidance, especially when you’re getting into the swing of things. It’s better to take a step back and enjoy the ride. After all, if its a success there will be plenty of time to fill in the gaps!
Some of these topics may come up either way especially if some aspect of your life or theirs is heavily involved. If they do, dont just refuse to answer or lie to your perspective partner. Keep it calm and sense the vibe. I
f things start to get a little frustrating, without dismissing them try and steer the conversation back onto a neutral territory. If you’re lucky a cool animal, scene or flower might pop up at the right moment on your hike. Point that out and go from there!
How To Ensure A Successful Date Whilst Hiking?
A little bit of planning will ensure that you are set up for success on your hike. There are some things that may seem great when you’re hiking by yourself or with a group of mates but aren’t a great idea for a first date.
1. Keep The Hike Short And Easy
First dates only need to be a few hours. Most people make up their mind about a person in the first 7 seconds! Should you find there is little chemistry between the two of you, it’s best not to be struck in the middle of nowhere for hours on end.
Maybe you two end up mates but sometimes peoples social batteries can’t stand being with people for a long period of time, and it wont be anything personal. Dates can be an anxious time and keeping it short and sweet until things develop can be a good idea.
Your date may enjoy hiking but many people have a different idea of what they count as a hike. It’s best to keep it short and easy to avoid either of you being puffed and out of breath or getting frustrated with each other’s pace. You can also add on distance to the hike if its going well if the area is full of good loops of trials.
2. Know The Hike Well
Some hikes are simply better than others. Knowing the hike well means you know it’s a good one. It has good sights, isn’t too muddy or challenging and better still you know the way.
Getting lost is something we can all laugh about when we get home but it’s not exactly a romantic way to spend the day. Also perhaps save being bad at directions for a later time!
That being said, if you do get lost then try and laugh about mistakes. Embarrassment happens to everyone, laughing it off as ‘silly me’ looks better than throwing the map down in protest and sulking.
To save this, do a hike you know well. Or has good signage. Don’t rule out family friendly hikes here. They normally have good paths to a beautiful view point and are a nice distance. Maybe often have smaller trials off from there should you want a quieter spot. Or add to the hike if it’s going well.
3. Choose Good Weather
Although rain may be atmospheric, it wont be good date material. If you’re constantly hunkered under your coat, not taking in the scenery wishing to be dry it will like dampen things. Literally. Not to mention how can you talk with the wind gushing in your ears. Avoid shouting at each other. Either rearrange the date or better still have a back up plan. Instead go to a nice cosy cafe or pub should the weather turn.
4. Know Where The Restaurants Are Nearby
Nothing beats good grub after a hike. If the two of you have hit it off then why not add on a little more time and take them to dinner too. Loads of country pubs offer great food and are a little more forgiving of muddy boots. If food isn’t your thing grab a drink and sit in a good old beer garden.
5. Keep The Drive Short
Long drives make everyone cranky. Try and choose a hike that isn’t hours away to save the fatigue driving brings. Not to mention if the date didn’t go well then the last thing you want is to sit in silence on a long drive home if you’re sharing vehicles.
Some ideas may have come up in your chats previously and you will have a better idea of what would work for your potential date. Ideas are a great place to start but if you can make it personalised then you are more likely to stand proud out of the crowd.
What To Do To Make Your Hike More Romantic?
Want to add that extra sizzle to your hiking date? Whether it’s the first date or you’re treating your special someone there are a few tips that can add some romance.
1. Have A Picnic
Add a blanket to your bag, some of your favourite foods. Think cheeses, cakes, fruit and anything that takes your fancy (that wont spoil after being out of a fridge for a few hours) and pop them into a cool bag. Maybe you take a bottle of champagne and some glasses to add an extra sizzle. Don’t drink? Mix up a mocktail or grab some fancy juices. Choose a spot with a lovely view and enjoy the sunshine.
A little tip if you choose to have a picnic is to have a place that you can put rubbish without juices dripping all over your bag. Dry or cover cups in a separate bag and any sticky wrappers or fruit cores too. Remember to leave no trace of your amazing date.
2. Watch The Clouds
Choose a comfy seat or again take a blanket and cuddle up whilst you watch the clouds dance across the sky. Perhaps you can make up stories or create artwork inspired by the sky.
3. Watch The Sunset
Time your hike right and you could be gazing over the valley as the sun disappears, painting the sky in a rainbow of colours. Bring a nice flask of hot chocolate and wrap up warm as you cuddle into the night.
Just remember that the light disappears quickly once the sun goes and when you decide to move pop on your head torches and make your way back.
4. Stargaze
After sunset the stars will start to come out to play. Perhaps a nighttime stroll in more your speed. Grab a head torch for when you need it (and for safety if you are alongside roads) and maybe make a wish on a shooting star if you’re lucky.
5. Create Music
Got a talent? They perhaps treat your date to a song or two when your settled in. Keep it quiet and sweet as a secrete serenade for the two of you.
6. Play Games
Whether this is on route (such as two truths, one lie), or you actually bring a travel game along to play in a beautiful spot, a game can be a nice way to ease into the time together. It also gives you chance to teach them how to play and something to talk about if you’re unsure where to go next. There is also nothing wrong with a bit of flirty jostling either. Whatever the mood fits give it a go.
Conclusion
Hiking is a wonderful way to spend time with anymore. It makes for a way more interesting date than the classic movie and a drink. You will get to know your partner on a better level whilst nature takes away those first date nerves. Even if things don’t pan out, time in nature is excellent for well-being so you have nothing to loose. I hope this helps you find that special someone and good luck. Happy Hiking.
